A man walks into a police station intending to be helpful and asks to see a detective.
Man says to the detective: I just want you to know that I did not rob the bank last night. I wanted to help you by eliminating myself as a suspect.
Detective: Sir, we did not get a report of a bank robbery last night.
Man: Well, when you do get a report, just know that I didn’t rob the bank.
While watching Finding Nemo, I got an idea for a protest. In front of Long John Silvers, I could hold up a sign that says, “Fish are Friends, Not Food”. But apparently after doing some research, PETA beat me to this protest idea.
.
Later in Finding Nemo, I got an idea for a counter protest against the above protest. A sign (slightly altering a line in the movie) that says, “Fish gotta swim, Humans gotta eat!”
I had an interesting thought last night. I would like to go to a restaurant and order steak and mash potatoes, but ask the waiter/waitress for a special order. I would request that the mash potatoes be smeared all over the plate and the steak to be cut up into pieces and arranged around the plate in the form of a smiley face. I would probably have to make that a requirement for me to purchase the meal. I wonder if the restaurant would accept such a request.
When is it not almost something? It’s February – isn’t it almost Christmas? Some would say no, but when can we first say it’s almost Christmas? December 24? December 23? December 22? Therefore, you can almost always say its almost something because its such a relative term. But the answer to the question – when is it not almost something – was supplied by Jess – when it’s something.
Last night, after playing Plants vs. Zombies, I wanted to know what in real life would kill a zombie. So after searching on Google, I found the ten best ways: 1) put them in a wood chipper, 2) trap them in a pit of concrete, 3) starve them to death, 4) chain saw to the head, 5) .308 winchester to the head, 6) run over it with a car, 7) smash it’s head in a convection oven while it’s on, 8 ) light the zombie on fire, 9) drop an Egyptian obelisk on it, or 10) crowbar to the skull. What I realized is that Jess and I do not have any way to do this if the zombie comes in to our bedroom. I also wasn’t sure if I had seen any zombie movies and that is why I was unprepared or didn’t know how to kill a zombie. Then I quickly remembered that I had seen Plan 9 from Outer Space. And just like Eros was implying in the movie – I shouldn’t be afraid of zombies:
“You know it’s an interesting thing when you consider, the Earth people who can think are so afraid of those who cannot – the dead.” - Eros in Plan 9 from Outer Space